Rest in Peace, Canada

After an enduring battle with liberalism, the once great nation has followed in its British brother's footsteps and been taken off life support

Dearly beloved, we gather here today to mourn the once great nation of Canada - a land of sweeping prairies, towering forests, mighty mountains, and a spirit forged in courage and kindness.

Not long ago, morning Timmie's runs fueled a cavalier country of hard-working folk, children chased their dreams on frozen ponds and suburban streets, and a quiet pride bound all together as one.

Like the fearsome cobra chicken, Canada didn’t seek out fights, but when called to action, its ferocity and ruthless effectiveness shone bright, countless brave Canadian sons carving their country's name in valor whether it be in Vimy Ridge or on the beaches of Normandy.

Canada's warriors have long stood tall, proving a small nation could cast a mighty shadow; for the last decade of its quiet but inspiring life however, the once proud country limped along on life support.

Disastrous leadership, an invasion of foreigners who shared neither the spirit nor values of Canada's past, an erosion of the ideals our ancestors fought for, a willful ignorance put in place to avoid the muck that is politics - like our English kin before us, the generations of today failed to protect Canada from enemies not outside its shores, but from within.

Still, we cling to your spirit - the few, the strong, the free - who remember our once great nation and the ideals we once proudly broadcast to the world. And we vow to honour your heroic past that has for too long been forgotten.

Your courage endures in us.

Rest now, dear Canada, and farewell old friend - we loved you fiercely.